Simplest RPG in the world:

Ladies and Gentlemen! I hereby state the newest, fastest, bestest, RPG in the world, a good enough skeleton of a game to allow COMPLETE freedom, simple enough for kids and good enough for pros! You might think that GURPS would be the fastest, and it was, but now, just racing past it in the finish line, is....

FEFS!

Standing for the Fast, Easy, and Fun System, all that is required is:

• 2d6. Not 3, like GURPS, but 2!
• A character sheet (Shown Below)
• A active brain.
• Minis! (if wanted.)

Now, the rules:
First, elect a GM. If someone volunteers, good. Someone must do it! It's really hard to play without a story.

Player Rules:

You jot down your character name, and class. (Classes are below.)
You roll a d6. If you chose a Warrior, add 2 to your roll, Ranger and Rogue adds 1, and Wizards add none. This is your HP.
Activate your brain and put down your Bio. (You know, your background?) And don't forget to draw a picture!
Now, talk with the GM (You remembered to get one, right?) about your powers. He might give you some powers depending on race and class (I recommend on 2-3 GM made powers) and you and the GM will get to haggle over the powers. The player should make at least one power (as long as it's reasonable.)
Roll a die and subtract two. This is how many power points you have (to start) to upgrade your powers. (Max up to 4 times.) Knock a box out for each time, and haggle with the GM about what the upgrade will do.
You now have a character!

Classes:

•  Warrior: You're a fighter. You get +1 to damage, and +1 to things involving strength/athletics. You get a -1 penalty to your speed and you get attacked if a ranged fighter misses their shot. (Special: If you take a +2 for damage, speed and athletics, you get a +1 to scaring people but you get a -2 to all rolls involving smarts and speed..                                                                
• Ranger: You take pot-shots from the safety of distance. You don't have to be right next to a enemy to attack it. You get +1 to ranged attacks, but -1 to melee. You get a +1 to your speed, and you are very unlikely to get attacked if you fail. 
• Rogue: You run in, dash over their heads, and grab their helmet while you're at it. You get +2 to your speed, and you get a +1 to all things that involve stealing. You get a -1 to your damage, though, and you also get a -1 to things with strength/athletics. 
• Wizard: You're a wizard, mate! You get access to spells, (Make up 3 spells and have them approved by the GM. Cast them anytime you want.) +2 to all things involving smarts and magic, but -2 to strength/athletics. You can get a -1 to your speed for a extra spell.

Sample Powers:

Warrior: Bull's Charge: Take +2 to your speed and +1 to your attack for this attack. Only once per battle./Knight's Lock: You cannot attack, BUT you can't be pushed back. Great for blocking a doorway./Roar: Roll a die against all of your opponents with a +1 bonus. If you win against any, it runs away screaming unless it's to stupid to do so./ Swinging Blow: Declare your using this ability.  Roll combat as usual, but if you hit, deal x2 damage. You take -1 on ALL rolls next turn.

Ranger: Bow Push: Using your bow (or whatever else) you get to shove back anyone near you once per battle, and then shoot one of them. Roll combat, but if you fail, you take no damage./ Locked: Declare a target and don't fire this turn. Next turn, if you fire at that target, you get +2 to your combat roll and +2 to your damage./ Overload: Don't fire this turn. Next turn, roll 3 times against your opponents one. You roll separate damage for each hit.  

Rogue: Trapster: You have so much experience with traps, you can make them. Roll and  minus 1, this is how many turns you need to make a Easy trap. For Medium, 0, and for Hard, +1. For Insane, +3 to your roll. Rider: Once per battle, you can jump on someones head and cover their eyes. You have to roll a -2 combat against them, and a normal roll for every turn afterwords. While you're still on the person, they take -3 to all rolls unless they don't depend on their eyes or don't have their eyes easily recognizable.

Wizard: Focus: Spend this turn in a meditation. Next turn, add a plus 2 bonus to ALL rolls. Rapidus: Cast two spells this turn. Attack Gnome: A tiny magical gnome, or any small creature that makes sense, appears for d6 rounds. You may attempt this spell again when it's going to despawn to keep it in. You need to roll a 5/6 on a die to succeed.

GM Rules:

Well, if you're reading this, your the GM and you have the hardest part of this all. You've got to make a adventure, NPCs, write stuff dow- Wait, don't run away yet! It's not that hard, and the reward you'll get will be awesome as your players talk about last game and how cool it was!
A adventure? I'd recommend for beginners some good old dungeon crawling and some monster bashing. Don't make the role play yet, but if you want to nudge it, make some traps that require thinking to get past. Don't add riddles and puzzles just yet. Wait for them to be more experienced. Wait, I hear you calling: "How do I create monsters? Traps? Those sound hard."
They're not! A Monster, or Mon, is divided into three classes: Normal, Mini-Boss, and Boss. Normal should be a wandering zombie, a solider, a huge snail, and other Mons. Give them low health, around 3. They should have NO skills. a Mini-Boss would be a mummy, a Sargent, a larger snail, and other bigger and better Mons.Around 5 hp would be good. Give them 1 skill as appropriate. And a main Boss would have around 10 hp and have 2 skills. Traps ar- Stop cutting me off! I know you want to know how to battle! It's simple.
Roll a die. Get the battling player to roll a die, and roll a die for the monster. Add bonuses(Not only spells and skills, but the monsters usually get a +1 bonus if they outnumber the players.. The winner attacks the opponent. Roll another die. This is how much damage they take. Simple, right?
Traps you roll against the same way, but they're traps, so they have a set amount. Make easy traps 1, medium 3, hard 5, and insane 6. (This refers to both what you need to roll to escape, destroy, dodge and how much HP you lose if you fail.) Some traps will stop working after the initial blow.
Make a nice map of your world. When you begin, funnel your players into a dungeon so they get the hang of it, and then slowly expand your world so they can explore, until it's open ended. This will let your players get hold of the ropes as well as make them feel less like their fate is planned.


              What to do if your players go way off the rails and make their own adventure:

1. Get the feel of what they want to do. "So, you want to go to the top of the mountain to jump into it and get the lava crystals?"
2. Delay them. "How much will they sell for? What will you use to jump in without dying? How will you climb up?"
3. While delaying, plan. *I need to make things like lava golems, robber goblins, and rock avalanches to make this idea better.*
4. Let them do it! "So, you guys begin to go up the mountain with your lava-proof sled."
5. Funnel them into your next adventure. "After you finish grabbing the last of the crystals, the volcano begins to erupt and you will have to sled down into a hole in the wall to escape being blown to pieces..."
6. And use this so your players will be happy, and they can't escape your next adventure!

Have fun. Don't rage quit. You'll get the hang of it.

And be sure to tell me for new stuff! This isn't a book, it's a blog post.