Convo Guide

The purpose of this is to simplify the pamphlet “Social Communication”. I am writing this up so that others can have a “virtual toolbox”, so to speak, of ideas and tools that they can use in life. The goal of the majority of this is to be as helpful as possible to others, because as much as you think you can interact well; it is always good to have a group of tips to help you along the way, as a guide. So, read on to find THE SECRETS OF HUMAN INTERACTION. Or some cool tips. However you see it.

Conversation:

Introduce yourself by saying “Hi, My name is (Blank.)”. If you’re having someone introduce themselves, turn around and face them. Keep Eye Contact while doing so. Listen with your whole body while talking if possible. Ask the Who, What, Where, Why, When, and How questions to keep conversations going. Stay on topic unless you both agree on changing it. Keep a good distance in-between you and the person you’re talking to. End the conversations you get into politely. Don’t interrupt anyone while they’re either doing something or talking to someone.

How to introduce yourself: Walk forward, and if the person is not busy, attempt to make contact by waving a hand. If they are busy, wait a distance away until it clears up. When you have their attention, keep eye contact with them, stay out of their personal space, and say “Hello, my name’s (Blank)”.

How to keep a conversation going: Upon hitting a break in conversation, remember the 5 Ws and the 1 H; Who, What, Where, Why, When, and How. If the conversation breaks like “Yeah, so I went to the ballgame.” then respond with “Who was there?” “What happened there?” “Where was the stadium?” “Why did you go?” “When was it?” and “How was it?” If those have all been exhausted, then perhaps you should change the subject like “Speaking of the ballgame, did you see…” Do not change the topic using it; keep it on the topic that it was originally.

Self-Regulation:

Use the appropriate voice level for the situation. Read peoples emotions and change the subject accordingly. Stay calm if in an escalating situation. Ask for help if you’re having problems with anything. Don’t be violent. Know what might ‘trigger’ someone to feel a feeling. Take turns while talking. Changes in life are okay. You are okay.            

Triggers: Despite the common use of “TRIGGERED” now a days, you can see that certain topics will “trigger” a reaction in someone. Don’t use that against anyone, because it’s a horrible thing to play with someone’s emotions. While it might be fun at first, once they realize what you’re doing, they may either begin ignore you/leave you or try to get revenge, which may or may not be violent. If you know something that will “trigger” an emotion, don’t say it if you don’t have to and say it gently if you do.

Cooperation:

Cooperation is Relationship Building, not ‘getting along’. Cooperation skills are good for making and keeping friends. Take turns while doing activities. Understand someone ‘clues’ for their emotions. Ask before joining activities or making people quit theirs. Compromise when it comes to decisions. If it’s not possible to compromise, get a third party source for finding out what you should do. Win and lose politely. Don’t insult someone for losing, or the same will happen when you do. Stop and see what’s next. Quit activities as good stopping points in order to be able to do other ones. Schedule breaks to be after work. Think of peoples feelings when you talk/interact to them.

Getting Along/Relationship Building: When you ‘get along’ with someone, it’s a nice way of saying “I tolerate this person slightly more than everyone else.” When you have a relationship with someone, it doesn’t mean love, but simply means “This person is worth my time and energy to become friends with.” Know the difference.

Win and lose politely: If you win, you may have the urge to taunt, to rub it in the opponent’s face, and otherwise be unenjoyable. This is a surefire way to get people to never want to play with you again. Simply repressing those urges and saying “Good game!” “You’ll get us next time!” and “That was close.” means you don’t seem like a complete jerk. On the other side, if you lose, you may want to cry, blame others on either team of either sucking or cheating, and otherwise be unenjoyable. This is a surefire way to get people to never want to play with you again, again. By not doing any of those and instead saying “Good game!” “That was a close match!” and “Fun time!” means you don’t seem like a complete jerk. Try it next time you play a game.

So, that’s all of it. Was it worth your precious time reading? You could have gone, tried to interact with someone, and either fail or succeed in the time it took to read this. Does that mean that this was a counterproductive waste of time? No, because now you have tools, tips, and an idea about what to do next time that you are forced to interact in this fast paced world. If you have any tips, experiences, or help for others, feel free to share that knowledge. If you don’t, go get some! Have fun socializing and communicating out there, mates!